I may be the only one here who has signed the membership book twice: once in 1989 and once in 2006.  It’s probably appropriate, because my two memberships are in two different histories of my life.  I was gone for about ten years, spending four of them in South Bend, as a member of First Unitarian there. Like a line from the Barry McGuire song from the 1960’s: “...You can leave here for eight days in space/ but when you return, it’s the same old place...” : well, yes and no. On my return here to BUUF, I noticed how nicely the building had been reworked, the presence of children and the large percentage of (at the time) unfamiliar members as well.  I was relieved to find several people I left behind still here.  I was relieved that what I liked about BUUF had remained, and I’ve been trying to put my finger on it since.  More things than not remained the same.  Here are some things that seem constant:

Every year we obsess about money, every couple of years we think about moving elsewhere.  We want to attract more children, we talk about unifying our visions.  Every year we do change in subtle ways, yet we remain constant.  We all age, we give each other companionship, we feed each other’s need for challenge and stimulation.  And we remain about 35 in number.  It seems to be a preordained figure: would more cause a dilution, a greater individual distance and loss of closeness?  Would fewer induce us to invite others more to dilute out each other’s persistent faces?  Is there a correlation with the square footage of the building and personal space requirements?  I don’t know, it’s fun to muse about, but we seem to be a steady presence, there seems to be equilibrium.  BUUF started with 18.  That number has doubled over the last fifty years- that’s about 1/3 of a person a year!!  I’m thinking it doubled quickly and stayed there.

South Bend had the conundrum of wanting more members, yet having no place for them to park.  If you’ve ever been there, you know what I mean. They have no parking lot.  I used to walk blocks on Sunday mornings.  There really were space problems.  When I left, there was even talk of two separate Sunday services so people wouldn’t have to walk for blocks.  Can you imagine that?  Extremely un-BUUF-like!

I’ve been to other UU churches around the country and this is the only one that has Circle Talk.  (We used to call it TalkBack, but that seems a confrontational name and the renaming was probably a good thing.)  Every week I receive not only the given program, but also a wonderful sharing of reactions and thoughts and insights that cause us to understand each other better.  I realized this is a direct benefit of our size- in a congregation of 100, it would be impossible to have a circle talk; we often push practical limits as it is, in size and time enough for all.  But we do it and we do it better than anybody else and we are a closer and richer group for it.  After four years in South Bend, most of the members were still strangers to me.  Not here.  I like that about BUUF, and I think we need to flaunt it in the UU World!  Ha!  Read about us! Envy!

We don’t have an underlying unquestioning theology in common with each other.  While we have our principles, those principles are constructed so openly that we can interpret them individually and even more liberally and ad hoc than even mainstream christians interpret their bibles, if that’s possible.  We have our own individually favorite ways of saving the world just as democrats and republicans fervently believe their own party’s philosophies are the most correct.  I favor logic and the scientific method for providing us with understanding.  Others believe more in a more intuitive and spiritual way of knowing and growing.  Some see BUUF as a source of voices for political presence and clout in our community, as a wheel if not a mainspring in a mechanism for social change.   I’m happy to be hanging with my peeps.  I’m OK, and you’re OK.

Those who have been here a while (in my case, returned) understand this about BUUF: it is a collection of precious people that will be interested in your way of saving the world, but who will mostly already have their own drives and interests.  Those who come and stay don’t expect others to fall in step behind them, but rather be satisfied that we will listen to what you have to say.  If you’re lucky, some will disagree and make you think.

So once again, I’m one of the BUUF 35.  I participate in the annual budget hand-wringing, the frustration of ambitions exceeding resources, the VERY family-like frictions and quibbles, the communal swilling of coffee and munching of snacks and potluck food, and knowing that twenty years from now, many of us will still be doing the same.  In some ways I do hope we grow, I hope just as much that we don’t lose our unique identity.  If you absolutely HAVE to leave us, remember what we do right here and try to duplicate it at your next destination.  If you can, come on back, like I did.  BUUF will still be here and you’ll appreciate it even more.

-- Gary Cook