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from Rev. Jim McConnell

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A Letter to my Nephew in Prison

Last December my 28 year-old nephew was caught, over the internet, attempting to seduce a 12 year old girl. It was revealed in the ensuing investigation that he was also having an affair with another girl of 14. My nephew is a very bright guy with a winning personality. He was valedictorian of his high school class and a popular teacher and basketball coach. His family is deeply hurt. His wife of 16 months has left him. His mother and father are heart-broken. At least two young girls and their families have been traumatized. My nephew will never teach or coach basketball again. It has not yet been determined how many years my nephew will spend in prison. This is a letter to him.

Dear Nephew,

Right now things look pretty dark. You have done some things that have negatively impacted the lives of a lot of people. Your Mom and Dad are wretched in their suffering. Children and their families have been damaged. I am sad and disappointed. You have effectively scuttled your life. Yet, there is reason to hope. What is that hope? Where is there light in this darkness?

First of all, we all continue to love you and want the very best for you. I have not talked to anyone in the family who judges you. I certainly do not. So how can we find hope in this situation? There is a very old story, a parable really. In the story a man, who is tilling a field finds a pearl of great value. The man went and sold everything he had so he could buy the field and claim the pearl. What is the pearl? The pearl is the source of your life, nephew. It is the life at the core of your being. It is the Life at the core of all Being. The pearl has been called many names through the ages. It has been called the Tao, the Great Spirit, the True Self, the Mother Goddess, God the Father, Yahweh, Adoni, and the Spirit of Life, just to name a few. I'll just call it the Pearl. Right now your job is to till your field so that you can unearth your pearl.

So, what does it mean to till your field? The field is you as you exist as an historical person in this here and now. Your field, as does everybody's field, needs tilling. You need, as everyone does, to examine your life. You need to set your plow deep. You need to dig yourself up and look at yourself. Here is what I think you will find. I think you will find your common humanity. You will discover that your mistakes and sins are everyone's mistakes and sins. Putting it bluntly, you are nothing special. Everyone has compulsions that are used to mask the pain of unrealized life. Your compulsion just happens to be an attraction to underage girls. It could just as well have been addiction to food, TV, drugs, work, or religion, to name a few. If your way of masking pain had been work, you might right now be making a lot of money and looking out the window of a corner office. You would, however, be no less spiritually bereft than you are now.

Here is the good news. The moment you decide to set your plow is the moment when life will turn around for you. The Pearl with all its resources and wisdom becomes available to you. Now don't get me wrong. Plowing is painful work. Remember Jesus said, "The one who puts his hand to the plow and then turns back is not fit for the kingdom." You will be constantly tempted to turn back and return to your old ways of being. One of the first things you will learn as you till your field is compassion. You will learn compassion for yourself and compassion for others. As you unearth your compassion, you will understand why you cannot have sex with young girls.

There is more good news. As you till your field you will one day realize that not one second of your life has been wasted. No matter how much of your life you spend in prison you will know that real vitality and freedom come from your Pearl. You will come to realize that there are many people walking around on the 'outside world' that are slaves and captives. A man can be free in a prison cell. A man can be a slave in a penthouse suite.

So, nephew, find your Pearl. Till your field. Live.

Uncle Jim

 

Religion and the Divided Brain

Most of us are familiar with the idea that human beings have a bicameral brain. The left side of the brain is supposedly the rational intellectual side of the brain. It is the part of the brain we rely on when decisions must be made based on factual evidence. It is the scientific brain. As Joe Friday used to say, "Just the facts Ma'am.” The other side of the brain, the right side, is the intuitive side of the brain. It is the part of the brain that is able to grasp situations and navigate through life without much factual evidence. It is our intuitive side. The language of the right brain is not fact or science. Its language is myth, poetry, music, and intuition. We need both sides of our brains. They each provide important ways of knowing. For instance, when one is shopping for a new car, trying to hook up a new computer system, or planning a Moon landing the left brain, with its rational factual approach to life comes in very handy. On the other hand, if one is buying a Valentine's Day card for a significant other, one will want to rely on the right brain. The right brain speaks the language of love and romance. It understands what the birth of a child, what a beautiful sunset, or what an act of heroism means.

The realization that we need both sides of our brains is an important part of being a UU. UU's practice what I will call a balanced brain approach to religion. By balanced brain approach, I mean that it must make sense to both sides of the brain. First, let's define what religion is. The word religion itself means “to reconnect.” The idea is that human life can get out of touch with reality. Religion is simply the method that people have used ever since the advent of language to put themselves back in step with the real. Most UU's believe that the deepest nature of reality holds for us a harmonious and purposeful life. OK, let us take a closer look. Most religions ask their adherents to believe in some pretty incredible stuff. I recently had the extreme pleasure of seeing "The Book of Mormon" musical. Tickets were a Christmas present from my daughter, Katie. Part of the purpose of the musical is to reveal how silly some religious beliefs are when taken strictly from a left brain perspective. In this, it succeeded very well. Most UUs have grown up in traditions that asked them to put their left brains on standby. We were required to believe some pretty unbelievable stuff. This creates an unbalance and disharmony in the believer.

Let us take a look at one of the most famous and most unlikely beliefs, the resurrection of Jesus after three days of death in a tomb. I realize I am on dangerous ground here. I certainly mean no disrespect to Christian believers. However, from the perspective of the left brain, the resurrection of a dead person after three days is highly implausible. On the other hand, we can see from the vantage of the right brain that this story points to the deepest regions of the human heart. OK, so what is the UU view of this very famous story. How do we apply both left and right brain ways of knowing to bring us into balance and harmony? This great old story has been a source of help and solace for billions of people over thousands of years. It is certainly of great value to humanity. It is pretty easy to see that the right brain is not the problem here. It sees that the story is telling us about the eternal nature of being. The right brain sees that the story is saying that you and I matter and that what we do is important. And most importantly, the story tells us that it is the nature of Reality to sustain and nourish us. The problem is the left brain. As far as the left brain can see, this story is antiquated, wishful thinking that belongs on the scrap heap of history. Not only is the story not helpful but may, in fact, be harmful to the naive believer. This is where the left brain needs to remember that the language of the right brain is mytho-poetic. Religion rarely speaks in the language of scientific and historical fact. If we can remember this, we can learn from our great religious inheritance without being put off by non-linear, non-factual ways of knowing.

If we are willing to engage the old religions with both of our brains, we can reap a rich harvest. A story does not need to be factual to be True.

Peace,

Jim

 

How Do You Teach an Eskimo What An Orange Tastes Like

Imagine that you are an explorer in the 17th century. You are the first person to discover indigenous peoples in the arctic. They are Eskimos. Your task is to teach them what an orange tastes like. How would you do that? Well, first you would have to take a few years to learn their language. Let us say that after 5 years or so, you are fluent in Inuit. You would soon realize that, even though you are now a speaker of the language, there is nothing in the cuisine of their society to compare with the taste and texture of an orange. What do you do? Answer: You give them an orange.

So, how do you tell a person who lives in a society that eschews spirituality (Scientific Materialism) what it is to be a spiritual person? It is a problem that calls for something like the orange solution that worked so well with our Eskimo friends. What has the taste and texture of spirituality? Fortunately, both East and West provide an answer. It turns out that sexuality and and spirituality are very similar in 'taste and texture.' For instance, Carl Jung said, "Spirituality and sexuality travel the same circuits." In Yoga, spirituality and sexuality occupy the same chakra. Both Hinduism and Taoism use sexuality as a vehicle for spiritual enlightenment. The Kamasutra (Kama = love, sutra = teaching) looks like pornography to the Western mind. It is, however, exactly parallel to our orange solution. It is a deeply spiritual text designed to facilitate the journey towards openness and enlightenment using sexuality as it's vehicle.

So, let us look a little deeper into the philosophy of the Kamasutra. When lovers open to each other in erotic embrace, their states-of-beings are very much like the state of being of the spiritual person who has lovingly and passionately opened him or herself to embrace Life. And, just as lovers in passionate embrace expect a response from each other, so does the spiritual person expect and receive a response from Life (I am using Life as a metaphor to be put alongside other metaphors such as God, Great Mother, Gaia, The Tao, Krishna, The Universe, The World Soul, Christ…). So, how does Life respond? The response is immediate. The spiritual person experiences an expansion of being that manifests as Love, Joy, Connection, Hope, Meaning, a desire to compassion, a sense of purpose, and a certainty that your life is being sustained and nourished by primal energies.

At this point, some of you are a little skeptical. If you are, why not try the scientific method? Choose your metaphor for ultimate reality. There are many. I have already mentioned several. Apply liberally the spiritual practice of your choice; prayer, meditation, contemplation, Zen martial arts, sexuality, compassionate living, culinary arts, carpentry.... Once again, there are many. Then see what happens? The point of spiritual practice is to learn how to go in to and maintain an expanded state of being. The point of the Orange/Kamasutra illustration is to give you an idea how this way of being is experienced.

Perhaps, the Western Enlightenment world of rationalistic Scientism is 'too much with you.' As far as you are concerned, all of the above is just so much poppy-cock. You have been taught that your existence is the product of random, chaotic processes that are devoid of meaning. That maybe all you can do is make the best of a bad situation. You are after all just a brief arc of light between darkness and darkness. Or are you? Perhaps your little arc of light is of the Light. Maybe it is time to for you to apply your scientific world view to your spiritual life. Start simply. Eat an Orange.

Peace,

Jim

Last Updated (Monday, 01 April 2013 13:35)

 
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